10 Rules for Being Interesting
Don’t listen to anything I say.
I’m the least interesting person I know. You really shouldn’t be taking my advice. However, it would definitely be interesting if you did. Interesting, you will learn, is almost synonymous with being someone who does things that don’t make sense. Of course, there are some people who are interesting because they are informative, but if you want to be that kind of interesting you can go on Jeopardy.
Don’t play it safe.
Safe topics aren’t interesting. Except food. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to talk about food because people actually LOVE talking about food. Food is more interesting than Obama. I’m just saying Obama because people love talking about him, too. But that’s why I’m not interesting. If you talk about what everyone else is talking about, how does that make you interesting? Really it just means you are talking about a safe topic that is already interesting, and will be interesting with or without you. You need to make your own interesting, and that means talking about things no one else is. And there is usually a reason no one else is talking about those things. They aren’t “safe” topics. Talking about safe things doesn’t make you interesting.
Be so smart you know things no one else knows. Like that the sky is green, not blue, not a reflection, just green. Pear green. You can only find out this information from me. See, no one else knows this, because I is smarterer. The downfall is that when you know something most people don’t know, they usually think you are an idiot. But idiots are interesting, too, you know. Also the sky is not really green.
Or is it…?
Do something no one else does.
You aren’t interested in knowing that I wake up every morning and go to bed every night. However, it might be slightly more interesting to know that I can’t touch cotton balls. For me, that is like nails going down a chalkboard.
Talk about things you aren’t supposed to.
I’d love to give an example, but I’ve always been to chicken shit to do this. Oh, if I wasn’t, I’d have soooo many interesting things to say.
Don’t take yourself seriously.
What is more interesting?
This: I don’t understand why I can’t keep a job. I have an excellent work history and great work ethics. I’d make a great company leader.
Or: So drinking whiskey on lunch breaks and never being more than 30 minutes late to work is apparently a bad thing. I’m tired of my leadership skills being overlooked. How many other people can succeed at making everyone else in the company look good?
Do something, then talk about.
This works best if you do things that make no sense! Because people who make no sense are interesting. For example, planking. Planking makes NO SENSE. But man, it’s damn interesting that people actually go out of their way to lay down like a plank and take a picture of it to share with their friends on social media sites.
Talk candidly about sex.
Don’t ask me why, but people like talking about sex. For some reason it’s fascinating. Maybe it’s because people enjoy talking about that which they cannot do–or bodily functions and fluids, like my Grandma who is always telling me how constipated she is and about her latest enema. Thanks, Grandma! Pass the Cheerios…
This is the easiest way to be interesting, because it doesn’t require you to actually be interesting. It just requires you giving other people the opportunity to be interesting. People love talking about themselves! And their grandparents enemas, apparently And if you can appreciate the genius of their interesting-ness, then by default you will be so totally interesting, too, but people love people who think they are awesome.
Remember that being interesting doesn’t always mean being popular. I get more blog hits when I accidentally piss someone off than I do when I offer to give away free money. Want everyone to agree with you? Post a popular opinion. Want people to care about you so much they will hunt you down to talk to you (or at you)? Post something they don’t agree with. Heck, if you do this in conjunction with being smarterer, people will follow you wherever you go just trying to figure out what they hell you’re smokin’.
If all else fails: do stupid things, make ridiculous statements, post random pictures, and start using a label maker on everything you own.
Rebecca Hamilton writes Paranormal Fantasy, Gothic Horror, and Literary Fiction. She is represented by the ever-more-amazing Rossano Trentin of TZLA.
To purchase her books, please visit Paranormal Fantasy Books.